Curious?
In June 2009 I read Todd Kashdan’s book Curious? Discovering the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life, which advocates the role of curiosity in developing a mindfulness of living in the present moment. In particular, the book argues, it’s the perfect way for dealing with (rather than fighting against) anxiety.
I’d always known curiosity was in some way implicated in the quality of life I was living – that is, that I didn’t have enough of it. Every now and then I would stop and ask myself if I was curious enough about people, places, events, the opportunities that present themselves: was I curious enough to help a stranger push their broken-down car off the road, or to make a diversion from where I was rushing to pop into an ad hoc art exhibition in a former Woolworths high street store. The answer was always blurry: probably not, but what could I do about it anyway?
Curiosity can be learnt
Kashdan’s book argues that curiosity can be learnt. That the mind is flexible (or plastic) and can change. And that high volume anxiety can be drowned out simply by turning up the ‘explore dial’ when feeling anxious.
The life I want for myself was a creative one: as a writer. A published, public writer of novels and provocative academic research into literature, life, the environment, mind, emotions and the processes of decision. But so far I have done only a fraction of what I want.
I’ve read other psychology and self-help books (Kashdan is affirmative that his is not a self-help book). Everything from Paolo Coelho to Dan Millman to using CBT. But this is the one that, coming at the right time, has stimulated me to change my thinking by focusing on curiosity. Within hours of reading the book, and looking at things differently, I felt changed. One example: I generally love the idea of travelling, but hate the implication of other people invading my space with their noise; of feeling trapped on a train for three hours. After reading Curious? and applying some of its learning to the situation – what is novel, new, what can I learn, what is present, what do I wonder? – the whole feeling changed. And has changed, well, not for good, but now each time I get on a train, I worry about it less in advance.
Get in, get out
So this blog is a creative project running alongside my PhD in Creative Writing at Newcastle. While learning how to write novels, I’ve decided to maintain some projects which I can dip in and out of when I need a break from the major work; when I need to do something quickly, to get that sense of progress and achievement (and dare I say it, connection, or even recognition). I’m not alone in this, fortunately. The great Raymond Carver stopped writing novels in his late 20s for the same reasons – to have something where he could “get in, get out”.
What I’ve done is extract 30 tasks from Curious? and I’m going to work my way through them, in the process of learning how to be more curious, and track my progress. Interspersed among these tasks will be anything else I can learn that’s relevant to my writing and my curiosity about emotions, decisions and mind, which are the subjects of my PhD research (in the field of literature, e.g. decision as represented in novel form, and the process of making creative writing decisions). Hopefully this project will be of interest to others as well as to me. But then if all it does is help me to become more curious and present in my life, it will have been worth every moment. As each moment, is, of course. Because, as a mindfulness teacher said just this weekend, the best way of getting ‘there’ is to focus on being ‘here‘.
These are the tasks from Kashdan’s book that I’m going to record, interspersed with other things I can learn about mind and emotions as part of my PhD (and life) research. There are more tasks than this, mainly to do with relationships. But since I’m not in one then I’m steering clear of those. Anyway….
There are a number of tasks in the book’s index, which are markers for where you are at. I’m going to conduct these twice, once at the beginning and then again at the end to measure progress:
- The Curiosity and Exploration Inventory-II (p.266) BEFORE | AFTER
- Basic Psychological Needs Scale (p.268) BEFORE | AFTER
- Acceptance and Action Questionnaire (p.272) BEFORE | AFTER
- Meaning in Life Questionnaire (p.273) BEFORE | AFTER
- Valued Living Questionnair-II (p.276) BEFORE | AFTER
- The BULLs-eye Instrument about Valued Life (BULLI) (p.279) BEFORE | AFTER
And when I’ve done those as the line in the sand, then over the next few weeks and months I’ll conduct these tasks, as drawn from the book. I’m going to do them in the chronological order that they appear in the book, although if my curiosity gets the better of me and I feel drawn to one or another, I might just skip the order.
- Pie of life assessment of an average day (p.64)
- Trial and error of finding your energizing pasttimes (p.71)
- New, novel approach to life (p.82)
- Schedule in time for curiosity and novelty (p.87)
- Practice avoiding early judgements (p.88)
- Identifying values to guide meaning (p.98) (and meets the page99 test)
- Practice active-constructive responses (p.101)
- Guidelines for meaning at work (p.114)
- Find curious explorers and emulate them (p.156)
- Discover more about ACT, and pratice turnin up the explore dial (p.174)
- Identify the optimal curiosity/anxiety level (butterflies) (p.192)
- Focus on the repressed issue that gives you anxiety (p.195-9) Parts 1, 2 and 3
- Practice defusion (p.199-202)
- Note to self from a future wise you (p.203-7)
- Who are you committing for? Embed the question (p.245)
- Do your actions match your beliefs? Embed the question (p.247)
- Resilence from trauma (p.250)
By the way, I’ve got no affiliation with the author – I just thought the book was fascinating, and useful and I didn’t want to let the opportunity to learn pass by without doing something creative and that would help me be happier. That we look quite similar is purely coincidental.
